Brujita Cosas by Alma Rosa Rivera

santa muerta

Brujita Cosas by Alma Rosa Rivera

Mami always told me
to stay away
from botanicas…
she tells me that they
hold negative energies
… the touch of
a brujas uña…
un ojo malo from a
shopkeeper
staring at you
and your hot little
brown fingers..
Stay away.. Botanicas
are not
for girls like you…
Go to church….
Visita lo mija…
ayi te espera..

Mi Mama me enseñó
qué no es bueno a
leer las cartas
“solo dios sabe
nuestro destino”

“Only God knows
our destiny”

“we are made in the
image of god”
she says…
but I… I’d like
to think
they are staring down
at me as I hustle
to create
my own image.

I think there are a lot
of mamas like mine…
God is number one in
the household
and because of this
they put the words
of the bible over the
feelings of their children…
they hold that book so tight
and we feel uncomfortable
because we live lives
so loose in comparison..

Y eso es lo que me hace
sentir muy triste…
the space between
the generations…
The distance between
the young kids with
the secrets in the
closet y las mamas
who gave birth to them.

It’s because of this
distance that many brown
kids reject the Catholic
faith and find comfort
in brujita cosas..

in the power of self..
in magic oils in
hot bath with chamomile..
in the clearing of
negative
energy with sage
and our ante pasados
in mind.
in the black lipstick
and the Elvira nails
holding a roach….
while mama exterminates
the evil in the
corners of the house
with..
el padre
el hijo
y el espíritu santo.

We make our own altares..
with knick knacks we find
at thrift stores
light them with candles
the color of
Spirit
Air
Fire
Earth
Water…
a stone we chose
and it chose us.
we hold it so tight..
how we wish we could
hold our mothers…

Living in Los Angeles
I see the youth
with necklaces
con La Santa Muerte..
I think because she
still hasn’t judged them
she welcomes them
under her cloak
lets you see up inside
her pelvic bone
and watch the galaxy
where genital would be
she says “get lost…
I got your back homegirl”
I think this is
why young tamarindo eyes
admire her.

La Muertita and her
outcast..how she protects
them..and they love her.

I’d like to think that
when I die…
a brown Virgen with a
cloak in amethyst stone
will extend her arm to me
and lock hands with me,
La Muertita holding onto
my other one..
An ancient serpent
riding us into the
other world
where bodies don’t hurt.
where it isn’t hard to
breath.. where it isn’t
hard to exist
It is there that
I will find
out if I will be
forgiven or will dios
reject the
witch in me.

******
Alma Rosa Rivera runs Frijolera Press. She is a Xicana Feminist who creates zines, writes poetry and fiction. She is also the creator of Tranquila Zine (a DIY zine on how to deal with YOUR anxiety from the perspective of everyday brown, chicanx, indigenous, latinx chicxs)

Follow her on IG for more awesomeness: Chicana_Catwomxn

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